| A blind man is
sitting on a park bench. A Rabbi sits down next to him. The
Rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind
man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.
Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the Rabbi on
the shoulder and asks, "Who wrote this?!!" |
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This is a little
known tale of how G-d came to give the Jews the Ten
Commandments.
G-d first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they
would like a commandment. "What's a commandment?" they asked.
"Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied G-d.
The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that
would ruin our weekends."
So then G-d went to the Assyrians
and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also
asked, "What's a commandment?" "Well," said G-d, "It's like,
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." The Assyrians immediately replied, "No
way. That would ruin our economy."
So finally G-d went to the Jews
and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "How
much?" G-d said, "They're free."
The Jews said, "Great! We'll take
TEN!" |
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A British Jew is
waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of
her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders
with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the
excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he
recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he
remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this
knight different from all other knights?" |
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